Trading Places: Submission or Collaboration?

Awhile back, Psychology Today published an interesting piece on how to make peace with the opposite sex: http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/index.php?term=19960301-000032&page=1. The article offered up the idea that, as gender roles, responsibilities and benefits change, it's worthwhile taking a serious look at what the other gender really means to each of us.

Second wave feminists burned bras, got jobs and abortions and pregnancy without a man, and told us that we weren't "really" women if we were "submissive" to men. Too often, Third wave feminists, the daughters and younger sisters of Second wave feminists, can't comprehend the concept of collaboration with a life partner because they are so busy living to please themselves. Real partnership trades off.

Sometimes, he cleans the toilet and takes the kids to dance class, while she works long hours to get that promotion. Sometimes, he's sick and she offers to pay the bills while she juggles a few spare minutes with the kids at the end of the day, making sure the caregiver cleaned the toilet. Sometimes, they both grit their teeth when his (or her) dad moves into the basement and asks, for the hundredth time, when mom (who died two years ago) is going to come home.

The point is, love trades places, as needed. And there is nothing love for another human being --- male or female --- won't do to care for the other. That's what we all need in this world. Giving up self to make things easier for other. Is that submission? Only when the other partner doesn't share the same commitment. When they do, it's called collaboration.